Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

Ömür Tokman · Sun May 15, 2022 3:27 pm

@Glenn Schroeder
even if i'm a little late. If I remember correctly, May 14 was Glen's birthday. Please correct me if i misremember. happy birthday.

Glenn Schroeder · Mon May 16, 2022 8:20 am

Ömür Tokman wrote: ↑Sun May 15, 2022 3:27 pm @Glenn Schroeder
even if i'm a little late. If I remember correctly, May 14 was Glen's birthday. Please correct me if i misremember. happy birthday.

Yes, you're right. It was the 32st anniversary of my 29th birthday.

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Mon May 16, 2022 3:19 pm

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Tue May 17, 2022 1:50 am

Ömür Tokman · Tue May 17, 2022 4:17 am

Glenn Schroeder wrote: ↑Mon May 16, 2022 8:20 am Yes, you're right. It was the 32st anniversary of my 29th birthday.

When I asked my grandfather his age for the first time when I was a child, he said "I am 70 years old". He was 70 years old when he died about 20 years later.

Glenn Schroeder · Tue May 17, 2022 8:34 am

Speaking of birthdays, for those of you who are around my age, if you ever start feeling old just stop and think "The time period from 1970 to the present is the same as from 1918 to 1970."

You're welcome.

DanPihlaja · Unread post by **DanPihlaja** » Tue May 17, 2022 8:58 am

Glenn Schroeder wrote: ↑Tue May 17, 2022 8:34 am Speaking of birthdays, for those of you who are around my age, if you ever start feeling old just stop and think "The time period from 1970 to the present is the same as from 1918 to 1970."

You're welcome.

You bastard!

LOL

One of the hardest things that I had to deal with on my last birthday is that I am now only 15 years away from being 60..... hhhh

Glenn Schroeder · Tue May 17, 2022 9:29 am

DanPihlaja wrote: ↑Tue May 17, 2022 8:58 am
One of the hardest things that I had to deal with on my last birthday is that I am now only 15 years away from being 60.....

I would feel sorry for you, but 45 is just a distant memory for me.

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Wed May 18, 2022 1:55 am

Ömür Tokman · Wed May 18, 2022 2:04 am

KaMei wrote: ↑Wed May 18, 2022 1:55 am 12-627517787d256__700.jpg

disgusting

the_h4mmer · Unread post by **the_h4mmer** » Wed May 18, 2022 6:16 am

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Fri May 20, 2022 1:46 am

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Fri May 20, 2022 9:11 am

Ömür Tokman · Sun May 22, 2022 5:49 am

@Roasted By John
.....Happy birthday to you.....

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Mon May 23, 2022 1:54 am

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Mon May 23, 2022 1:13 pm

I remember that bit from schoolhouse rock a little differently. Glad they are teaching it correctly now.

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Mon May 23, 2022 6:04 pm

Seems like false advertisement...

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Tue May 24, 2022 1:23 am

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Tue May 24, 2022 7:02 am

Today's Dilbert.

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Tue May 24, 2022 12:20 pm

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Tue May 24, 2022 12:23 pm

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Wed May 25, 2022 1:49 am

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Wed May 25, 2022 6:58 am

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Wed May 25, 2022 5:56 pm

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Thu May 26, 2022 8:38 am

mattpeneguy wrote: ↑Wed May 25, 2022 5:56 pm

image.png (158.73 KiB) Viewed 2333 times

I'm calling your murder hornets bluff and raising you a monkey pox!

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Thu May 26, 2022 2:10 pm

I'll see your monkey pox and raise you croc pox.

Glenn Schroeder · Thu May 26, 2022 2:55 pm

mattpeneguy wrote: ↑Thu May 26, 2022 2:10 pm I'll see your monkey pox and raise you croc pox.

I have had croc pox. It takes a long time to go away.

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Sun May 29, 2022 5:16 pm

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Sun May 29, 2022 5:19 pm

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Mon May 30, 2022 2:08 am

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Mon May 30, 2022 11:09 am

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Tue May 31, 2022 1:30 am

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Wed Jun 01, 2022 1:56 am

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Wed Jun 01, 2022 6:53 am

KaMei wrote: ↑Wed Jun 01, 2022 1:56 am

image.png (175.55 KiB) Viewed 2167 times

That's what happens when you drink and drain, you mount the roll backwards!

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Wed Jun 01, 2022 12:35 pm

Completely unrealistic...there's no way the wife would make the dog stay outside...

jcapriotti · Unread post by **jcapriotti** » Thu Jun 02, 2022 10:45 am

DennisD wrote: ↑Wed Jun 01, 2022 6:53 am That's what happens when you drink and drain, you mount the roll backwards!

This is what happens when you give the world cheap 3d printers.

SPerman · Unread post by **SPerman** » Thu Jun 02, 2022 10:55 am

I have a mount for my kindle and reading glasses next to the tp roll in my bathroom thanks to my 3d printer. (But the paper is mounted in the proper direction.) No food or drink next to the toilet for me.

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Thu Jun 02, 2022 11:14 am

SPerman wrote: ↑Thu Jun 02, 2022 10:55 am I have a mount for my kindle and reading glasses next to the tp roll in my bathroom thanks to my 3d printer. (But the paper is mounted in the proper direction.) No food or drink next to the toilet for me.

Idk, ever seen what a cat can do to a roll of tp on there in the "correct" direction?...one of many reasons not to have a cat...

SPerman · Unread post by **SPerman** » Thu Jun 02, 2022 11:56 am

I would be OK with unrolling the tp, but every cat I've own has decide to ruin my house with his/her urine. I am not a cat person.

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Fri Jun 03, 2022 2:07 am

Glenn Schroeder · Fri Jun 03, 2022 8:14 am

SPerman wrote: ↑Thu Jun 02, 2022 10:55 am I have a mount for my kindle and reading glasses next to the tp roll in my bathroom thanks to my 3d printer. (But the paper is mounted in the proper direction.) No food or drink next to the toilet for me.

Back in the olden times I had a phone jack beside the toilet. I got tired of the phone always ringing while I was there taking care of business.

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Fri Jun 03, 2022 8:25 am

Glenn Schroeder wrote: ↑Fri Jun 03, 2022 8:14 am Back in the olden times I had a phone jack beside the toilet. I got tired of the phone always ringing while I was there taking care of business.

Yeah, I'm showing my age, but I remember this guy:

Rather than run a phone line to the toilet, why didn't you just install a toilet in the kitchen next to the phone?

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Fri Jun 03, 2022 8:32 am

Mooving on. . .

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Fri Jun 03, 2022 9:12 am

jcapriotti · Unread post by **jcapriotti** » Fri Jun 03, 2022 9:31 am

mattpeneguy wrote: ↑Thu Jun 02, 2022 11:14 am Idk, ever seen what a cat can do to a roll of tp on there in the "correct" direction?...one of many reasons not to have a cat...

Why are you bringing the cat to the bathroom with you?

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Fri Jun 03, 2022 9:51 am

jcapriotti wrote: ↑Fri Jun 03, 2022 9:31 am Why are you bringing the cat to the bathroom with you?

You're not following the most current post...toilet is in the kitchen...

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Fri Jun 03, 2022 9:52 am

DanPihlaja · Unread post by **DanPihlaja** » Fri Jun 03, 2022 11:56 am

mattpeneguy wrote: ↑Fri Jun 03, 2022 9:12 amimage.png

Fixed that for you:

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Wed Jun 08, 2022 1:47 am

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Wed Jun 08, 2022 11:30 am